Links & Musings

 

For anyone planning a memorial or celebration of life on their own, consider purchasing the
New Narrative Event Planning Guide

DeathCare BC is an affiliate in support of purchases made using this link. However. This is a guide that is invaluable to anyone who wants the autonomy of planning on their own, but the practical advice of someone with years of experience. Consider getting it for your own group, or as a gift for someone who is in the planning process themselves.

“It is a system that hides our dead and moves it out of the public view for a number of different, likely cultural, reasons. But I think now we’re saying, ‘Is this what’s in everyone’s best interest?’ and then deciding that it could be different and asking for it to be different.”
— Emily Bootle, The Globe and Mail in June 2022

Instagram Live with Black Dress Consultants - a casual conversation talking about community death care and having a few laughs.

 
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Guest Blog with Epilogue Wills

“We have the choice right now to educate ourselves and prepare so we can evolve the way we manage death in our communities. [Death workers] are doing our best to be ready – is your family?”

Click Here to Read
 
Click to read my latest post about working in Virtual Memorials and my optimistic perspective on the future of this medium.

Click to read my latest post about working in Virtual Memorials and my optimistic perspective on the future of this medium.

 
 
“Women are now entering the space and asking, ‘Why is this such a sales approach? Why are we doing it this way?’ ”
— Emily Bootle of DeathCare BC quoted in a recent article: https://beyondthedash.com/blog/cultural-spotlight/how-women-disrupted-the-funeral-industry/7430
In The Parlor is a documentary film exploring the ever growing trend of families taking care of their own loved ones after death.
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Apologizing

I might write a post about how our instinct is to apologize when someone is in pain or discomfort and we are empathizing.

I'm so sorry.

I wish there was something I could do.

And there is - take a breath, and repackage the energy from your sorrow and your empathy as comfort. There is nothing that can be said which will change the inarguable fact of what is and what has been lost.

Be present with grief, and do not feel that you have to apologize for it. Our sorrow and sorry-ness is implied in our presence. Listen and refrain from judgment.

Empathy hurts sometimes, and fear of that pain can make us alienate friends or family when they most need us there with them.

Be present, be available, be loving.